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Overcoming Suicidal Thoughts/Attempts and Depression

court9723
Underground

I've been suicidal since I was about 10 years old. I'm 23 now. That's 13 years of wanting to kill myself and 13 years of battling with depression. It's exhausting. I was diagnosed with a mental illness two years ago and it explains the depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts as both of those are a symptom of said mental illness. There is still a lot of stigma tied to mental illness, depression, and suicide. 

I relapsed many times this month. I'm going back to therapy. I'm headed towards recovery. I am healing. 

My playlist is a mixture of songs about healing, songs about pain, and songs that I've listened to years ago when I was a severely depressed teenager that has stuck with me throughout this whole journey. 

To anyone who battles with depression and suicidal thoughts, I know it sounds extremely cliche, but you are not alone. It's so easy during this time to hyperfocus on the feeling of loneliness and on what causes us pain. I was so shocked at how many people was admitted to the hospital for suicidal attempts the last time I admitted myself to the hospital for treatment, and it showed me that I was not alone in how I was feeling.

Overcoming Depression and Suicidal Thoughts 

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13 Replies

JujuNinja
Local Performer

Best of luck, getting out of that pit of emptiness. Been suffering as well for the past 20 something years.

court9723
Underground

I want to try DBT therapy to work through my suicidal thoughts as well as my past trauma that sometimes is the root to those thoughts. Right now I'm in CBT therapy but I've heard DBT is really good for individuals at high risk for suicide. 

ErickPandora
Community Manager
Community Manager

@court9723 Thanks for sharing and we are happy to have created a safe space for people to share their experiences and to offer support. If you or anyone you know ever needs a little extra emotional support, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist. We encourage you to use Lifeline.

Erick | Community Manager

Let's talk music in Community Chat

MOHLovesAlaska
Platinum Certified

@ErickPandora  great response dear friend, I liked the way you reached out to those, offering them guidance. Take care Erick and stay safe.  

Moderator edit: format

MOHLovesAlaska

Depression
Local Performer

Life is painfully for me I think everyone hates me I wish everyone a good rest of there day follow me please

 

jameslady
Opening Act

my wife died on news years eve she got into a bad car wreck her car was hit by a semi and she died and now i'm mad as fudge that i want to kill myself but i also don't want to kill my self

AdamPandora
Moderator
Moderator

@jameslady We send our deepest condolences to you and all who are affected during these hard times.

If you or anyone you know ever needs a little extra emotional support, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist. We encourage you to use Lifeline.

Adam | Community Moderator

Let's share music in the Music + Podcasts

jameslady
Opening Act

 happy new years eve happy 2022

 

jameslady
Opening Act

ok im going to listen to kill myself by tim mcgraw. 

it will help me out a lot. see the thing is my real mom hated me since i was born and now my wife dead on new years eve in a car crash so now i have now mom or wife. i just had to put someone there butt it was a boy he hit a girl so now he is going to jail. im not going to kill my self i decided not to do it because i got 7 kids and friends and family so im not going to hurt my self i'm going to go to play my PC game now.

bruh i'm crying now because i miss my wife and my two friends that was a cop and a fire chief they both died in 2021 on the 22 of december. but my wife died on the 31st of december. one of my friends died last night in a house fire😢😭plus im crying right now plus my older sister just called me saying my uncle just died.

mod edit: merged comments
0 Kudos

UncleBud
Up & Coming Artist

@jameslady I'm very sorry for your loss. Be strong! If you've got kids (I think you said you had 7) they are hurting now too. Grieve with them. Let them know it's all right to cry. Hard times will pop up in our life from time to time. Everyone goes through hard times at different times of life. If you hang on...If you believe a better day will come it will. That better day may take some time to arrive but it will come. Your children need you right now. Don't be afraid to cry with your children. Everyone cries from time to time as well. Sometimes a good cry is what the soul needs. Find some music that helps to put a smile on your face. Music helps the soul. Peace! ✌

UncleBud
Up & Coming Artist

I will be praying for you.

jameslady
Opening Act

thank you so much

 

MOHLovesAlaska
Platinum Certified

Every time I hear about suicide or someone that has had their life cut short because of suicide, it brings me back to two different times in my life. The first of course is in October 2019 when my second oldest brother Donnie took his own life. The second time is when I myself was very close of ending my own life because of the broken 💔 I was suffering from losing someone I had loved with all of my heart. By experiencing these two different events in my life this is what I have learned. 

  One, God is real He does exist. I should have died and yet here I am responding to this post and subject. Why God saved me is a question I will perhaps never know the answer to. He saved me from suicide and yet my brother is gone. That something I will never be able to explain. 

 This is what I have also come to know about suicide, when you lose a loved one from suicide you suffer from many afflictions. For one just the loss of that loved one, and then the million questions you fight with every day, why did he not trust me enough to come to me or confide in me? How could I have missed the signs of his depression? Believe me these questions are only the beginning. But it is even harder for me because I was in that state of mind 11 years prior to his passing, I should have been more keen to the signs, I also should have been gone long before his death. 

For all of you out there you should know first and foremost you are not alone. There is someone that loves and cares about you, even if that person is a counselor that you have never met. He or she are there because they do care, and it just may be someone that has lost a loved one to suicide. Do yourself a favor don't ever give up on hope or give into your despair, because there is someone out there that does care. 

Take care and stay safe. 

MOHLovesAlaska